Wait

	Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried; Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied. I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate... and the Master so gently said,"Wait." "Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply. "Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!" Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard? By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word. My future and all to which I relate hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?" I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign. Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign. You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe, We need but to ask, and we shall receive. Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry: I'm weary of asking! I need a reply. Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate as my Master replied again, "Wait." So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut, and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?" He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine... and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign. I could shake the heavens and darken the sun. I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run. I could give all you seek and pleased you would be. You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me. You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint. You'd not know the power that I give to the faint. You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair; you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there. You'd not know the joy of resting in Me when darkness and silence are all you can see. You'd never experience the fullness of love when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove. You would know that I give, and I save, for a start, But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart. The glow of My comfort late into the night, the faith that I give when you walk without sight. The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask From an infinite God who makes what you have last. You'd never know should your pain quickly flee, what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee. Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true, but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you. So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me. And though oft My answers seem terribly late, My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT". I'll write an actual post at some point this week, but for now - the poem's it. :)

To have someone that loves you, not like a parent (which is a wonderful love) but a spouse, a helpmate, is one of the greatest gifts. It makes you one of the luckiest persons on earth, to know that someone sees your soul and cherishes it.







If that's what that was . . . I miss it with all of my heart.

Back-to-school madness

So I've moved in. That was Saturday. All day.

Let's just say that the third floor with no elevators makes moving in a little more difficult than last year's. We made it, though!! I absolutely love my room. I've got some bookshelves, a futon, a nice bed, a cozy space underneath where you can sleep or just lounge . . . it's a nice, cozy, homey room. I think I'm going to really enjoy living here.

My mom wore me out Saturday. We got done moving me in (which means getting everything up here and mostly put together/away) around 4 or so, and then we went shopping. For anyone that knows my mother, saying we went shopping means we went shopping. As in, we started around 4:30 and ended around 9:30 or so. That's 5 hours for you math-challenged people. We got some really good bargains at Kohl's and Big Lots. As in, pillows (sleeping and throw/floor) for like $5 a piece. Um, heck yes for a college budget! Pretty sure I startled some people in Wal-Mart, which is rather funny in retrospect. Actually, it was rather funny then. I got a call about 8:45 from an unknown number and it took me a second before I realized who the person on the other end was . . . but once I did, I, uh, yelled their name rather loudly and rather excitedly in the middle of a frozen food aisle. Lol, needless to say it made my day of moving in and shopping all completely worth it and much shorter. :)

We start our training tonight. We have a dinner at 5:00, which I guess is going to include a basic introduction to being an RA and probably basic introductions to each other and I wouldn't be surprised if we played some trust-building get-to-know-each-other games. They seem to like those. They haven't told us yet what our schedule is going to be like for the next two weeks. I know I'm going to be really busy, but I have no clue what time we start or what time we end or if I have free time during the day. Eh. I'm sure they'll tell us tonight. I hope.

I finally finished the 7th HP book. I thought she did a wonderful job with this one. It's probably my favorite. I do wish it were longer, just because there's a lot of time there that I know don't know what happened - and as a fan, I'd like to know what happened to the characters I've read about for years and years. I guess she let's our imaginations take that ride on their own. I seriously need to start on some of my school books. My Honors class has five books and some of them are daunting in size. And I know this teacher, we'll be reading all of them and the whole book. Head start sounds like a brilliant idea.

Well, I'm off to get ready for this dinner thing. Gotta shower and all.

Jen

Adult?? Now I am!

I got my instruction license!!!!!

Yes, I'm 20. And no, I didn't have a license previously. This is my first permit. And yes, I know I should have done this 4 years ago, but there's a lot to that story, and it just didn't ever happen. But I have it now!!! I'm pretty excited, if you can't tell. I drove home, which means interstate and then in-town driving. Took my dad to the post office first, though. I did a pretty good job. It's going to take some tie before I get truly comfortable, but most of you know that. This is a really big step for me, and I'm proud of myself for finally getting past the fear that's built up over the past few years and just going and taking the test. I know a few of you talked to me about this several times and told me how freeing it would feel to finally be able to drive, and I must say, I didn't really believe you. I do now, though. I feel like I've actually grown up. I'm not really dependent on my parents anymore. I mean, I'll still have to wait a while before I can actually get my license, but this a good step in the right direction.

Anyway, I've gotta pack. I'm moving back to school tomorrow and I haven't even started to get my stuff together. We start training Monday, so I'll keep ya updated on how all of that goes and how all the RA's fit in together in my building.

Jen

They only stick if you let them

It's corny, yeah, but it's adorable and it always makes me feel a little better. So I'm sharing. :)

You Are Special
by Max Lucado

The Wemmicks were small wooden people carved by a woodworker named Eli. His workshop sat on a hill overlooking their village. Each Wemmick was different. Some had big noses, others had large eyes. Some were tall and others were short. Some wore hats, others wore coats. But all were made by the same carver, and all lived in the village. And all day, every day, the Wemmicks did the same thing: They gave each other stickers. Each Wemmick had a box of golden star stickers and a box of gray dot stickers. Up and down the streets all over the city, people spent their days sticking stars or dots on one another. The pretty ones, those with smooth wood and fine paint, always got stars. But if the wood was rough, or the paint chipped, the Wemmicks gave dots. The talented ones got stars, too. Some could lift big sticks high above their heads or jump over tall boxes. Still others knew big words or could sing pretty songs. Everyone gave them stars.

Some Wemmicks had stars all over them! Every time they got a star, it made them feel so good! It made them want to do something else and get another star. Others, though, could do little. They got dots. Punchinello was one of these. HE tried to jump high like the others, but he always fell. And when he fell, the others would gather around and give him dots. Sometimes when he fell, his wood got scratched, so the people would give him more dots. Then when he would try to explain why he fell, he would say something silly, and the Wemmicks would give him more dots.

After a while he had so many dots that he didn't want to go outside. He was afraid he would do something dumb such as forget his hat or step in the water, and then people would give him another dot. In fact, he had so many gray dots that some people would come up and give him one for no reason at all.
"He deserves lots of dots," the wooden people would agree with one another.
"He's not a good wooden person."
After a while Punchinello believed them. "I'm not a good Wemmick," he would say.
The few times he went outside, he hung around other Wemmicks who had a lot of dots. He felt better around them.

One day Punchinello met a Wemmick who was unlike any he'd ever met. She had no dots or stars. She was just wooden. Her name was Lucia. It wasn't that people didn't try to give her stickers; it's just that the stickers didn't stick. Some of the Wemmicks admired Lucia for having no dots, so they would run and give her a star. But it would fall off. Others would look down on her for having no stars, so they would give her a dot. But it wouldn't stay either.

That's the way I want to be, thought Punchinello. I don't want anyone's marks. So he asked the stickerless Wemmick how she did it.
"It's easy," Lucia replied. "Every day I go see Eli."
"Eli?"
"Yes, Eli. The woodcarver. I sit in the workshop with him."
"Why?"
"Why don't you find out for yourself? Go up the hill. He's there." And with that the Wemmick who had no stickers turned and skipped away.
"But will he want to see me?" Punchinello cried out. Lucia didn't hear.
So Punchinello went home. He sat near a window and watched the wooden people as they scurried around giving each other stars and dots.
"It's not right," he muttered to himself. And he decided to go see Eli.

Punchinello walked up the narrow path to the top of the hill and stepped into the big shop. His wooden eyes widened at the size of everything. The stool was as tall as he was. He had to stretch on his tiptoes to see the top of the workbench. A hammer was as long as his arm. Punchinello swallowed hard. "I'm not staying here!" And he turned to leave.
Then he heard his name.
"Punchinello?" The voice was deep and strong.
Punchinello stopped.
"Punchinello! How good to see you. Come and let me have a look at you."
Punchinello turned slowly around and looked at the large bearded craftsman. "You know my name?" the little Wemmick asked.
"Of course I do. I made you."
Eli stooped down and picked him up and set him on the bench. "Hmm," the maker spoke thoughtfully as he looked at the gray dots. "Looks like you've been given some bad marks."
"I didn't mean to, Eli. I really tried hard."
"Oh, you don't have to defend yourself to me, child. I don't care what the other Wemmicks think."
"You don't?"
"No, and you shouldn't either. Who are they to give stars or dots? They're Wemmicks just like you. What they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters is what I think. And I think you are pretty special."
Punchinello laughed. "Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?"
Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden shoulders, and spoke very slowly. "Because you're mine. That's why you matter to me."

Punchinello had never had anyone look at him like this - much less his maker. He didn't know what to say.
"Every day I've been hoping you'd come," Eli explained.
"I came because I met someone who had no marks," said Punchinello.
"I know. She told me about you."
"Why don't the stickers stay on her?"
The maker spoke softly. "Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. The stickers only stick if you let them."
"What?"
"The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The more you trust my love, the less you care about their stickers."
"I'm not sure I understand."
Eli smiled. "You will, but it will take time. You've got a lot of marks. For now, just come to see me every day and let me remind you how much I care."

Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and set him on the floor.
"Remember," Eli said as the Wemmick walked out the door, "you are special because I made you. And I don't make mistakes."
Punchinello didn't stop, but in his heart he thought, I think he really means it. And when he did, a dot fell to the ground.

It's been 49 days, 50 today, and I still notice

2 days and counting!!

Today is a good day. Because I want it to be. :) I'm at work again, and we still don't have much to do, but you know, that's cool with me. Gives me time to chat with people, read (I should have brought my book), organize stuff, relax, etc. How cool is it to have a job that's paying me to play and enjoy myself? Pretty darn cool, no? My work ethic is a little strained, but I really don't have anything to do, so I guess I can't feel too guilty for not doing something.

I got a futon last night! I'm pretty excited about because it's a piece of furniture, my first actual piece of furniture, and I bought it. It's black and the mattress is black with red micro suede on one side. I plan on ordering a futon mattress cover somewhere that I can put on it so it will match with the stuff I have, or at least blend decently. It was under $200, which is a pretty good deal on a futon frame and mattress - a good mattress at that!

So I'm reading the 7th HP book right now, and I think it's probably the best one. But. I think I'm going to read it again when I get done, that way I can read it and form an opinion. Because right now, I'm reading it to find out what happens and I'm getting rather caught up in the story. I refuse to comment on it so far, in a serious manner that is, because I'm reading it as part of a series that I really, really like instead of reading it as if it were an Honor's reading or whatnot. I have to say, though, that she wrote some wonderful action sequences. Within the first four chapters I was already on-edge and completely engrossed.

I'm off to do some work.